Mixtape Friday (On Saturday!): Ego-Boosting Songs

Yesterday, I took a personal day off from life. I stepped outside my T-less isolation and went out into the world to have lunch, check out books and music, and just get some fresh air and clear my head. Everyone has days where they feel like throwing on their largest, most over-sized sweater and hiding their unwashed hair under a beanie to achieve the aspect of an evicted mole person, and yesterday was one of mine. For whatever reason, I was just like, “Life, I ain’t havin’ this.”


As I do in most situations, I have a special, go-to list of songs for moods like this – songs that tend to raise my spirits and make me feel like an A-list celebrity, or a fuckin conquistador or some shit. So for those in a similar mood, here’s that list, dwindled down to the essentials.

1. “Bad Reputation” – Joan Jett

The mantra of my every combat booted strut during The Dark Ages, this song still has a way of making me feel like the coolest chick on Earth (even when I’m sitting in my sweats getting potato chip crumbs on everything).

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All the Rage Wednesday: Joggers in the Bike Lane

I don’t ride my bike everywhere all the time because I think you have to be somewhat suicidal to do that. Maybe I have an overdeveloped instinct of self-preservation, but I’ve seen how other people drive and I’d like to live to see that age when I can go around telling everyone what I honestly think about them and not worry about getting my ass kicked. I wanna be that elderly woman with a holo-walker who asks, “What are you gonna do about it, sonny?”  with my titanium dentures peeking out from behind my menacing snarl.

Anyway, when I do ride my bike, I appreciate having a bike lane that at least sets aside a little room that’s legally just for me. Except for when I see these idiots.

Sir, you’re doing it wrong.

You know who I’m talking about. The super-human running machines who are going so fast they’ve broken the sound barrier and the fabric of the entire space-time continuum. They’re going so fast, they’re actually lapping themselves and to the naive naked eye, it would appear that they’re really only going an average of 6mph. Continue reading…

Faithful Boo: Life Without T, Part Two

There is such a thing as cheating on your best friend.

It’s seeing a movie with someone else that you promised you’d see with her first. It’s when you cancel on plans with her to hang out with a mere acquaintance. Mostly, it’s not keeping the sacred things sacred: going to your declared mutual favorite restaurant – “your place” – with someone else simply because it’s convenient, you want to go there, and she happens to not be around but this other person is; repeating a story or personal anecdote of yours that, in the larger scheme of your lady bromance, marks your friendship with your boo as truly special because you only shared it with her; and worst of all – making some drunken, insensitive, and WAY THE HELL disingenuous declaration to some drive-by friendship fling that she’s “one of your best friends” – FOR SHAME! (Note: there is a Lady Bromance Cheating Clause, which states a significant other as the only exception. S.O.’s are allowed to overstep a bit.)

She never has to look over her shoulder or do any sneaky phone spying with me!
She never has to look over her shoulder or do any sneaky phone spying with me!

Anyone who knows me knows that I am fiercely – and at times frighteningly and RUTHLESSLY – loyal; the kind of loyal that allows me to justify dislocating someone’s entire face with my killer right hook to help you win an argument in which you’re blatantly wrong (because if someone’s going to tell you you’re wrong, it’s going to be me, and I will do so with love). I am the best person you could possibly have on your team, and the enemy who will find some way to make you run away screaming, pissing your pants in mid-flee with mortal terror (I will destroy you and those you love most – guaranteed [disregard this, NSA – this ain’t none of your business!]). So, even with T’s absence leaving a sudden and painfully palpable void in my life, there are just some things that I simply won’t do (*song break* I would do anything for love! Oh, I would do anything for love! I would do anything for love….but I WON’T. DO. THAT. *end song break*).

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The Week in Review: May 19 – 25, 2014

Jayne is…


Currently eating: My weight in chocolate-covered strawberries – perhaps one of the very few desserts in this cold, cruel world that I can trick myself into believing is even remotely good for me.

Currently listening to: “Hells Bells” by AC/DC on my Volbeat Pandora station. In general, I really dig Pandora, but sometimes I don’t think the thumbs-up and thumbs-down buttons really do what they’re theoretically supposed to. Because if they did, Five Finger Death Punch definitely wouldn’t be coming on my station anymore, and they’d be giving me more Pantera instead. Get with it, Pandora.

Currently wondering: Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? (No, but, for real though – cuz I used to really enjoy that shit as a kid.)

Recently watched: A whole fuck-ton of The IT Crowd, on T’s recommendation. She and I are obviously Moss and Roy, but we haven’t yet distinguished which of us is whom. Another mission for this year’s writing retreat! (Which, by the way, is set to go down in less than a month – WHAT UP!)

Recently discovered: A whole bunch of kick-ass Advanced Reviewer Copies (ARCs) of upcoming books at work ; I have now taken to stacking them on my dresser because the sheer amount of books I have in my possession now outnumbers the shelves I own. Hello – my name is Jayne, and I am a bibliophile. (Hi, Jayne!)

Recently agonized over: My next tattoo. It’s going to be GLORIOUS, guys!

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