The Boos Do Retail Therapy

Ninety-five percent of the time, I’m the kind of shopper who sits in front of her laptop in her pajamas and fuzzy slippers, munching on cheddar and sour cream Ruffles, and casually switching browser tabs from Malcolm in the Middle on Netflix (everyone go rewatch that shit right the fuck now; it holds up so well, and that one episode where Malcolm and Reese both think the other one is gay literally never gets old) to a pictorial listing of cozy, oversized sweaters all in varying shades of cream (and no, my fondness for oversized sweaters that look pretty much exactly the same doesn’t make me sartorially predictable – it just means I’ve found my style, guys, geez!). But the times when I do decide to throw on public-appropriate clothing and brave the crowds (that I hate) and the stores that over-perfume their walls and their entire inventory (that I also hate – I’m looking at you, Abercrombie and Fitch!), Boo (naturally) is my favorite person to do it with. Mostly because:

1. She and I are both strategic shoppers.

Boo and I aren’t the types to wander around aimlessly; that’s fucking pointless and a waste of valuable time. Instead, we’ve already got in mind what we need (just this past Tuesday it was chic, work-appropriate clothing and shoes for her, and sweaters [in cream, obvsies] and flowy blouses for me) and we’ve narrowed down our stops to the shops that would suit us best (Anthropologie, Zara, and Nordstrom – when I allow myself to forget about the horrific three months I spent working there back in my youth – are our usual go-tos). Not only does it eliminate needless temptation, but it also makes efficient use of the time we’ve got together. Which is important because…

2. Food is always involved.

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Whether in snack-form, meal-form, or drink-form, food – and when and where we’re going to consume the fuck out of it – is usually how Boo and I like to break down the day. “Okay, now that we’re done with the first store on our list…should we have lunch now or hit up another store and THEN have lunch?” Now. The answer is always now. Continue reading