I live in America, damn it! The land of freedom, opportunity, and personal fucking space! So why is it that more and more often, I’ll have people quietly cozying up behind me in line, grazing all up on me, like it’s no big deal? And before you tell me, “But Tatiana, maybe they’re just sexually harrassing you,” I have to tell you: they’re usually women.
The other day I was waiting in line at a buffet for some delicious omelette (buffets are the source of my powers. Tell no one.) and some lady behind me got so close that her plate was just jutting into my arm. I cast her a look. She continued checking her phone. I contemplated nudging my elbow just the slightest amount and causing her to drop her plate. But there was no reason for the restaurant to suffer just because she was such an idiot. So I stood there wondering, “Why, humanity?! WHY?!”