Truth: An almost unthinkable majority of the defining moments in my lady bromance with T, all happened in one particular dive bar.
It’s the dive bar where we first realized, kind of accidentally, that we could’ve saved ourselves a whole lot of trouble if we’d gotten to know each other sooner. It’s where we first downed chocolate cake shots (every bit as delicious as it sounds), where we first devised the genius (that’s right – GENIUS. I went there) concept for our Young Adult novel, and where two years later, with the novel all done, we landed on the perfect title (again, accidentally) and repeatedly high-fived like two testosteroney buffoons. (It is not, however, the bar where I successfully guzzled a Vodka Minefield – undoubtedly the coolest, most bad-ass moment of them all – but whatever, no big, I’mma let it go.)
It is also where, upon discovering our natural ability for Jukebox hogging, we’ve perfected the art of the Dive Bar Sing-a-long.
Make no mistake: when we approach a Jukebox, it is with fearlessness and intent! With singles and fives in hand (and sometimes credit cards because we stupidly didn’t think ahead and make an ATM run, goddamnit, Jayne!), and with a thought-out, tried and tested playlist! (Well, okay, maybe not always. There was this one time where T wrote our playlist down on a napkin, the latter half of which mysteriously tore off and disappeared once we reached the Jukebox. To this very day, we still have no clue what in the ever-loving John Bonham happened. RIP Half-of-Napkin.)
Take it from us, there will come a time in your own lady bromance when you’re going to be at a dive bar. And once there, you’re going to want to sing. Together. Gloriously out of tune. Cement the momentous occasion with these tunes, from our playlist, to yours!
1. “Last Caress” – The Misfits
Guaranteed to scare the living shit out of anyone with delicate sensibilities, there is no better way to start your playlist than with this fun-in-a-completely-fucked-up-kind-of-way track, as only the Misfits could do it.
2. “Baba O’Riley” – The Who
Not only will the lyrics ring true across the board for everyone who’s ever been a teenager, but it will also allow you to zero in on the one misguided member of the dive bar populace who thinks it’s called, “Teenage Wasteland.” (There’s one in every bar.)
3. “You Shook Me All Night Long” – AC/DC
Let it out – make a sexual innuendo out of EVERYTHING and try to beat each other at a mock hip-thrusting contest. (T wins every time.)
4. “Take On Me” – A-ha
About this many songs into the playlist, some subliterate ogre will inevitably mumble something like, “What’s up with all these old songs?” Your response WILL be A-ha, you WILL wail, “in a day or…TWOOOOOOOO!”, and you WILL NOT give a single.gram.of.fuck. because this is the anthem of every lady bromance everywhere!
5. “Comfortably Numb” – Pink Floyd
No bar sing-a-long is complete without Floyd. This song is a favorite between me and T because there’s just something about that moment where you turn to your boo and simultaneously start singing, “HELLO…is there anybody IN there?” and start acting out the lyrics like two delusional mimes. But feel free to substitute it with “Learning to Fly,” “Wish You Were Here,” or “Brain Damage.”
6. “Jessie’s Girl” – Rick Springfield
Everyone knows it, and everyone loves it (though some deem themselves too good to admit it). Most importantly, everyone acknowledges that this song is basically about how Rick is in love with Jessie. (Don’t even try to lie to me, Rick.) Trust us, the whole bar will thank you.