I’m leaving the country for three weeks. I know: it’s going to be tough on our lady bromance. No daily text banter, no late-night milkshakes. But somehow–we’ll make it work. Actually, this guide is exactly how we’re going to make it work.
Exaggerate the Time Apart
Ok, I know what you’re thinking: “What? Three weeks? I’ve had colds longer than that!” And you’re right, three weeks isn’t exactly long-distance relationship status (but you should really get that cold checked out, dude. That doesn’t sound right). But considering that Jayne and I are basically in constant communication and going steady with the lady dates, it’s going to take some adjustment. This is why a three-week hiatus of our bromance will feel more like three cold, dark months. No immediate gratification for our jokes, no spontaneous hangouts, no constant back-and-forth about food. It’s a harsh world out there without your boo by your side. It’s best to come to terms with that now instead of waiting until you’re actually apart.
Have a Last Date
Since we’ve established that our time apart will feel like ETERNITY, a long good-bye is in order. For us, this means a Hobbit-like meal and an hours-long romantic stroll under the stars.
Our Sunday walks are always pretty epic in both distance and content (where we’ll cover everything from how stupid This is 40 is, to the nature of the human condition), but this one will carry extra significance because it’ll be the last for a while.
Before we part completely, Jayne will give me a book to read on the plane (that I’ve been trying to find forever. Thanks a lot, Douglas Adams) that I will cherish every step of the way (or until I finish reading. But, whatever). Every time I look at it, I’ll think of Jayne (with much nostalgia). And when I return, I shall have a memento for Jayne, that she may always remember those three harsh weeks with some fondness. I don’t know yet what it is, but given our crazy propensity for gift-giving, I think she’ll like it.
Share a Long Hug
Our goodbye will culminate in an unnecessarily sad hug, like one of us is going to war, where I will half-expect Jayne to pull out a handkerchief and tearfully wave me off as I pull away in my car. It will be followed by nostalgic memories flashing through our minds: us sharing fries, us indulging in chocolate malts, us giggling over our plans for world domination.
Goodbyes are nothing without fresh hellos. So, during my trip, I will be keeping a journal of everything that happens. Mostly for my own use in writing, memory-keeping and blah blah blah. But really it’s so I can tell Jayne every juicy detail of the trip, from the most uplifting (Ohh, hiking Masada!) to the most mundane (Omg, what was that girl wearing to Shabbat?). Why? Because even if Jayne can’t be there with me, I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure she feels like she was, and because everything in life is better with input and commentary from your best friend. And because it’ll make our hellos that much more fun.
See you soon, dear friend!