We all know friendships come in different packages, but my personal favorite is the Gross Couple Friendship. You know what I mean by gross couple: they finish each other’s sentences, discuss one another in lovey-dovey tones, and like to pass their time with Eskimo kisses or debating who should be the first to hang up. Eugh. Gross.
Or so I thought, until I realized that Jayne and I are basically that gross couple. And here are the signs that you and your bff are too.
1) You like to surprise each other with gifts.
These don’t have to be big or expensive gifts, but sometimes you see something that reminds you of her or something you know she’d like, so you buy it with the selfless goal of making her happy. In our case, it’s either trinkets, books, music, or meatloaf.
2) You make super romantic plans and have no shame about it.
You know what Jayne and I wanna do when we get published? Besides buying everyone at the bar a round and then going to indulge in one huge garlic crab each? We’re going to basically have a lost weekend at this adorable bed and breakfast with roaring fireplaces, complimentary wine, bicycles to ride on their coastal trails (er, first I guess I’m going to teach Jayne to ride a bike…), olive trees and all-around tranquility. We’ll be reading and writing and basically having the most romantic weekend ever. Why? Partly because I know we’d both love to pamper ourselves, partly because she and I pretty much enjoy doing all of that, but mostly because when I see or think of something good, I immediately wanna share it with Jayne. Like a couples massage. What? Huh? Is that just us?Continue reading →
There comes a point in every lady bromance where you both slowly come to the sinking realization that you would kind of, sort of follow this person to the ends of the damn earth and shit (even if you both just happen to get there completely by accident), packing two sandwiches each for you both along with gallons of water and three boxes of frozen corn dogs (just in case), and soundtracking the romantic moment with Death Cab for Cutie’s “I Will Follow You Into the Dark” (“Youuu and meeee, have seen everything to seeee, from Bangkok to Calgarrryyy…!”). And lemme tell ya, that is a beautiful thing.
Over the years, I’ve come to trust T with just about everything – keeping my secrets, planning my birthday, being my executioner when I become a warlord (what? did someone hear that?). I trust her with the big things and the little things, the important and the mundane. Continue reading →
I started by ignoring the incessant tapping of the guy in the cube near me at work. He taps his leg so often and so loudly that it typically distracts me from my work and makes me want to fantasize about pushing his cubicle wall on top of him, crushing him like a little grape, and using what’s left to make wine.
But not today! Today I took a deep breath and continued working until he eventually stopped or my brain tuned him out. Not bad.
Man, that was a long nap. Can’t believe no one woke us up.
So, why were we hibernating and what happened while we were in the great metaphorical cave?
Well, first of all, I got a new job–which means a lot of walking around in downtown San Francisco and pretending like I’m going somewhere very important while I’m really trying to get to the nearest bakery for some post-lunch cookie action.
But mostly it means less opportunities for bromance, which is why Jayne and I have taken drastic measures to increase our bromance quotient by implementing Sunday night dinners.
Oh, and I got engaged, which means I have naturally saddled Jayne with the responsibility of being the Maid of Honor–a job she is performing so well I think this may be where her warlord career starts. I think bridesmaids everywhere suddenly felt an unnatural chill when Jayne accepted her new position of power.
Then, of course, came our birthdays. Jayne threw me a surprise dinner, which was actually the first time anyone’s given me a surprise party of any kind, and it was AWESOME. And not just because we ordered like 3 different kinds of dessert.